June 24, 2017

Until We Meet Again

Today we laid our 4 beautiful girls down to rest, with their big sister Shanna. We felt so loved by all those who came to support us through this difficult day. It was something we never wanted to do again, but friends and family make life so much easier to live through. We have been so touched by everything we've received. We've felt prayers and inspired words to help lift us during our darkest days. How could we ever thank you enough?

Our little girls were buried with their big sister Shanna 

The morning started out pretty hard. We were not planning on dressing our girls, and felt like a silent goodbye would be the easiest for us. After receiving a phone call from the funeral home, we learned that our sweet little Kylie did not have a dress; so we made plans to arrive early and hold our little angels one last time. As soon as I saw my miracle babies, the tears started to flow. They looked just as they had when it was time to let them go. As I held each little girl in my arms, my heart shattered a little more. Was this really happening? Was I really doing this again? I'm so thankful Jason was there with me, or I don't think I could have snapped back into reality. I would have stayed there in that room, wishing with all that I was, that this was just a dream.



We were late getting to the cemetery, and were greeted with saddened eyes and familiar faces who had been in that same place only 11 months ago. I felt as if I should apologize to everyone for making them hurt for us yet again. In so many ways I've felt like I let everyone down. I was supposed to share my little girls with everyone. So many individuals offered help, feeding shifts in the middle of the night, baby sitting, house cleaning and so much more. While standing there I felt so empty handed, so sad that I could not share happy news about our sweet girls. The words said and the sound sung somehow brought peace to my wounded heart. Death is never an ending, it is only a part of a glorious plan for all of us. One day, we will hold our babies again, and they will have perfect bodies. We will have the chance to love and raise them in the eternities.

Us with carter's great grandma and grandpa

Us with Carter's grandma and grandpa
This ltitle boy is our everything
The three musketeers!

After the services at the cemetery, we headed to the church for a much needed social gathering with wonderful friends, neighbors, and family members. I was so touched by all those who came! I could not believe how many people came to show us so much love. The church was decorated so beautifully, our little family is so blessed to have such wonderful support.

A display we had at the luncheon
We love our little girls <3

The rest of our day was filled with cousins playing, shopping, sitting around talking, and eventually 3 naked kiddos who just ran in the sprinklers and decided to go skinny dipping in the kiddy pool. Life is a funny thing...it goes from was to happy in seconds. There is so much good in the world and so much to be thankful for, how can you help but not smile? Thank you for all the thoughts, prayers, gifts, and words of encouragement! Everyone has said we are so strong for all that we've been through. I believe we are only strong because we have angels here in the form of friends and family. We are only able to handle life's greatest trails, because we've been given all of you! Thank you!


The naked kiddos after Carmen got dried off and dressed

 P.S. Huge shout out to Tiffanie White who took all of these amazing pictures (minus the naked kiddos lol)! She is a very talented photographer!













8 comments:

  1. Dear Clarissa and Jason. Our love and prayers to you and your little family. Love Pearl and Stretch Taylor.❤️

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  2. Kip Briggs6/25/2017

    Dear Ones, as a Mother of an Angel, I know and feel your pain. There are no words. Hugs, prayers, and love from one Angel family to your own.

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  3. Love to you all - I'm a great believer things happen for a reason and wee Kylie not having a dress was no mistake - you were meant to see them one last time x

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  4. Anonymous6/26/2017

    I remember at the viewing for our 10 month old son feeling sorry for the people in line and somewhat guilty that I was causing there pain. I had shed so many years by that point that I was somewhat numb to my own feelings. It's 19 years later and some days it still feels like yesterday. It gets easier,but never goes away. I don't know how people go through the loss of a child without faith in God.

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  5. Anonymous6/26/2017

    I am truly sorry for your loss and I am praying for your family daily I lost my son in January of 2015 to a brain aneurysm I still feel the great pain everyday but I know I can always go to his grave and visit and talk with him god finds ways to comfort is even when we don't know how to receive this great comfort god is always watching and so are the angels

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  6. Very sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you...

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  7. Anonymous6/26/2017

    With a preemie baby being born to my daughter recently, not a day goes by that I don't think of your family. Sending you lots of love and prayers from MN. May God wrap your family in HIS arms and you all find peace/comfort needed to continue on without your 5 little darling angels. Your journey, your strength, and your everlasting faith in God throughout suffering/pain has inspired me tremendously.

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  8. I don't know how it is to loose a child, but I do know how it is to loose a family member
    If you need any words of encouragement you may message me on messenger.

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