Another month, another week, another day has gone by. Our little family has been so blessed and we have enjoyed our time in 70-degree weather for November! I must say, I think the weather is my most favorite part of California.

Since my last post, there has been many events in the Osborn family.

There was much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. We made the long journey to Idaho to spend some much-needed time with immediate and extended family. It was so wonderful to see everyone and made me a little sad for Utah where many of them live. Our anticipated 12-hour car ride turned into 17 miserable hours through the night. We were so happy to get to our destination at 9 am.

Carter with one of his cousins

Thanksgiving dinner was amazing as always and for the first time in many years I did not go black Friday shopping! Instead we spent our time at the instacare (carter and Jason) and at my uncle’s house away from everyone with two very sick children. I was bummed we had to be secluded, but so glad we didn’t spread the germs.

Carter at the instacare

Saturday was the highlight of our trip. It was a very special day where we became an eternal family. Our little Daxton was sealed to us in the Meridian Idaho Temple. It was so special to have so many family members to attended and share this special event with us. Carter looked so handsome in in white suit, and little Dax did so well in the temple. I am so in love with our huge eternal family. I know our girls were there to witness the event and see their little brother Daxton. I have been given so much and am so thankful for all that I have.

Our little family outside the temple

Our big family outside the temple 

A good friend of ours came to be a part of our special day

We made the trek home on Sunday and it only took us 12 hours! We were very thankful for that as well, and decided that flying is more of our thing.

Here is what has been happening with each of us

Jason

Jason suddenly got into camping and we have camped quite a few times in our front yard. Jason started looking into camping trailers so that we could camp out at the coast. Well, he found one he really liked and one day it was right in front of our house. Carter was so excited about it too and we just had to break it in with sleeping in it for a couple of nights started the night that we got it. Since then we have gone to Morro Bay at the coast and spent a couple of days there.

Jason is still enjoying his job and making sure that our little family is never in want of delicious ice cream. Although we have shared much of our stash, every week it seems there more to try and find a place for in our freezers. We attended an awesome work event where we ate delicious food, played blackjack, and showed off our little Daxton. I have decided that Nestle hasn’t been all that bad too us.

He has some pretty hard days at work

Jason decided to start a new hobby. In January he will be coaching Carter’s basket ball team and balling it up with 5-year-old on the Raptor team. He is pretty excited and Carter can’t wait to play more basketball with his daddy.

Carter

My little ocean bug 

Carter is still loving school. He enjoyed having some time off for Thanksgiving, but I think he was excited to see other kids and be a part of his class again. When I volunteer in his class it is fun to see him and how he interacts with others.

Best big brother!

Carter has loved that we have a camping trailer. When it was outside in our front yard, he asked every night if we could sleep in it. He loves the fact that we can watch movies on our little T.V. inside. I love that he is excited about going on adventures with us.

Carter's favorite new thing

Daxton

Our happy little baby

Daxton is the newest member of our eternal family. He is adorable and every day I feel so lucky to be his mom! He is the happiest baby when he is being held. He has even had an awful cold, but through all the coughs and sneezes he smiles bit. He just turned 3 months and it has been fun to see him stay alert more and interact with us more. He absolutely loves his big brother and will not waste any frowns on him. He always smiles when he sees him.

3 months went by so fast!

Our little polar bear

A smile in his car seat is very rare!

Me

Well, there’s not a whole lot new with me. I spend my days in our rocking chair, holding Daxton while he sleeps. There are only very few times when I am able to put him down so that I can get stuff done. I am so glad that I have an hour 3 days a week to get a little bit of a break and help out in Carter’s Kindergarten class.

My little buddies 

I recently got a new calling in our new ward, and I think it will help me grow quite a bit. I am not very excited about it, but that is because it is uncharted territory. I am the new Wolf den leader for cub scouts. I know… you are jealous that I get to spend an hour a week with little boys teaching them things like how to build a fire and how to sit still for 2 seconds. We had a decent size group of rambunctious little 9-year olds. I am so glad I’m not on my own and have a partner who has done it for years, otherwise… I would not last very long.

As soon as we got home from our trip... Christmas is up!

California has finally started to look like fall. I have loved the weather here, but it definitely takes some getting used to. It is very strange to go outside on a November day with only a light sweater. We have missed our friends in Spanish Fork very much, but are thankful for the kind wonderful people here. There hasn’t been very many weekends where we don’t have plans.

1 month turns into 2

I started writing this blog almost exactly a month ago, and surprise surprise, I never finished it or published it. Don't worry, we're still alive and have not had anything happen to us in California. I must say I was a little worried about that. We've enjoyed our time here very much, especially the 80 degree October weather! We still miss our friends and family in Utah, but it's so nice to know they're only a phone call away.

Well, we have had a very eventful 2 months since little Daxton became a part of our family. I had completely forgotten how much work these precious babies are. It's so worth it, but sometimes I feel bad for my little buddy Carter. He's had to learn how to share his mom and dad, and although it doesn't seem like it bothers him there are little moments where he lets us know that it is hard for him. Here are a few updates about each of us.

Carter

Carter started kindergarten and goes for the full day! I'm so glad I have little Daxton to keep me company or I think it would be super hard to have my sidekick away from me for 6 hours. The first day I dropped him off, I bawled all the way home and cuddled my Daxton for the rest of the time Carter was gone. It's hard to let him go, but I know he loves learning and being around other kids. He fit right in and made an instant friend while I watched him settle in. Oh what an adventure.

My baby's all growed up

First day of kindergarten in California 

Carter is such a good big brother. I knew that any sibling he was able to have he would be happy to love on. I catch Carter quite often talking to his little brother and trying to make him smile. For the first little while we had him home with us in California, he often asked if he could feed or hold Daxton. I love seeing my two babies together!

One of the times Carter asked to hold Dax

And then he wanted to feed him. 

Carter is loving it in California. Especially when we go to the beach! He can't get enough of the ocean.

Carter loving the beach and the crazy seagulls 

More fun being a beach bum

Daxton

Oh my heart

Well, what can I say? He's the cutest, sweetest, most cuddly baby on the planet. He loves to be held and that's often the only thing that will make him happy. I discovered baby carriers are lifesavers in disguise. It's the only way I'm ever able to get anything done.

Baby snuggles <3

He's doubled in size since the day he was born and we love counting his rolls. He's starting to come out of the newborn fog and we often have little conversations. I think my most favorite thing ever is those sweet little baby smiles that are starting to show more often. We are so in love with this little human!!!

My 2 month cutie

Sweet baby smiles 

A couple of weeks ago we were able to bless him. We loved going back to our old ward and sharing something happy with them one more time before saying a final goodbye. Oh how we love those wonderful people!

Our handsome little guy

There were a zillion more people there, but these guys stayed for a picture

Jason
Well, I think that best thing about this move is the excitement of a new job. Jason is loving his new position and we are reaping the benefits of it as well. Who wouldn't want 2 freezers full of Hogen Dauze ice cream?! Don't worry, we share it with anyone and everyone we meet, otherwise we'd probably be about 5000lbs each.

Last weekend my spartan warrior finished his last spartan race and earned his trifecta! I wasn't able to walk next to him and cheer him on, but from what I saw he did awesome! We had a team member we were missing, but it was fun to get together and reconnect. I'm sure Jason has a different word for it. He's still trying to recover from it. I'm so proud of him for setting a goal and sticking to it!

The only pic I got off the team. They were all nice and clean. 

Jason decided we would add another adventure to our list. We bought a camping trailer and have already used it two nights in a row. Carter often asks if we can eat in there, hang out in there, and rest in there ha ha. The day we had it parked out front Carter staked out his bed and before we knew it we were sleeping in it. We'll see if Jason sticks to his end of the deal and makes sure we put some use on that thing.

Me

Well, as I said earlier I am loving this 80 degree weather! It's amazing to think this is fall weather in California. I don't get to enjoy it as much as I would like because I'm always holding a sweet little baby, feeding him, changing him, or rocking him to sleep. I've got us mostly unpacked, and have met some awesome people. I've already gone to play dates, lunch dates, game nights, and girls nights. The people here are very friendly and we couldn't be more happy about that. Don't worry spanish fork friends, you'll always be the greatest in our book!

Well, now that is way past my bed time, I better head to bed. Thank you to all our wonderful friends for making a life so much worth living! We love you!

And Then There Were Four

Wow, it's amazing how fast your life can change in an instant. In the past it had been awful heart breaking events that changed our entire world. There have been moments of pure happiness mixed in with those awful times but for the most part it had been just plain hard. For the first time in a long time we've had something happen to our family that I wouldn't have dreamed for years to come!

The Story

After praying our guts out for a birth mom to notice our adoption profile, we only had a terrible experience. What we thought would be our happily ever after, turned out to be a joke. Someone wanting to play a game with our hearts to get personal satisfaction. A made up story for a family whose hearts were aching to hold and raise a baby of their very own. I was so upset, the words, "Haven't we been through enough?!" Often entered my thoughts. I felt so sorry for this women who needed to cause a gaping wound to be reopened for whatever personal reason.

Well, although we were hurt we still raised our heads high and had faith that some day, maybe not even in this life, but some how and in some way we would be blessed with another baby. That faith and our endless prayers were answered when Jason got a phone call out of the blue. It was then that we heard about our little Daxton for the first time. He was told that a birth mother had seen our profile and wanted us to take care of her baby boy that would be born in a few short weeks.

We still were cautious to distance our hearts as we knew that there could be other possible out comes. After speaking with the birth mom through texts, and filming out lots of paperwork, we felt at peace that whatever was meant to happen would happen, and it would be what it needed to be. So that's when the waiting started. Only the month we thought we had turned out to be 2 weeks!

My little sidekick

Sunday August 26th, we woke up just like any other day. This time Jason was home and the commencement of preparations for one more family breakfast with other family members began. I hadn't had my phone with me all morning and amazingly neither did Jason. We were just enjoying our time together as the 3 musketeers. When I went to grab my phone to look up a recipe I noticed Jason's phone was ringing, but I didn't answer it and went down stairs to tell him and look up the recipe I needed. As soon as I opened my phone, I saw the words..."birth mom is in labor!" With a big smilie face. It was then that I yelled out the happy news and the crazy packing and scrambling to change all our plans, find a place for Carter to stay, and book a flight for me to fly out ASAP. An hour later we all got in the car and started our journey for our lives to completely change.

Daxton was born before we even got to the airport. Suddenly my thoughts were racing all over the place and I said a silent prayer that everything would work out for this little angel to be a part of our family. We wanted nothing more than for Carter to have a little brother and experience the happiness that other children can bring into a home.

The first time I held Daxton 

To spare you from reading this post for hours, I'll skip all the details of the trip to Arkansas and everything that happened in those 10 days. Just to give you a brief summary, Jason and I stayed in a hospital with a brand new baby. We met his birth family and couldn't adequately tell them how thankful we were for their sacrifice. I know what it's like to come home empty handed and it's the worst feeling in the world. To know what his birth mom was going through hurt my heart yet she was making the ultimate sacrifice so our family could be happy. They were an answer to so many prayers and we weren't able to express the happiness we felt to have a little boy to take home to be a part of our forever family.

A moment in the hospital

The first time daddy got to hold little Daxton

If you're wondering why I'm so white in all these pictures, I must tell you that Daxton comes from a very neat heritage. Both of his birth parents are from the Marshall Islands and he has a hint of Japanese from his grandpa. Yes, I'm sure one day little Dax will be curious as to why his mom is so white, but I will be so excited to tell him the story of how we waited and prayed for him to be ours.

Spending time in a hotel room

Well, now that we've been home for almost a week (Carter and I), we've started getting used to a new little boy in the house. Sleepless nights for mommy but totally worth every second! Carter finally got to start kindergarten. He was so excited on his first official day. He could hardly wait to get there and show off his baby brother. He walked away first before giving me a hug and that's when the tears started flowing. My little sidekick is now in kindergarten. The California days are going to be hard. He'll be gone for a full day at school. What will I do without my little buddy?! Two and a half hours away from him is hard as it is. How will I ever manage 6+ hours?! I guess it'll be good to have little Daxton to keep me busy.

The first time Carter met his little brother

Carter's first official day of kindergarten

He was so excited to show off little Dax

We move in 1 week. I was hoping this day would never get here. It's going to be so hard to leave this place. No only because it's where our little girls are buried, we are attached to the house because of all the hard things we went through and all the incredible memories with all our babies, but also because the people here are the most caring and loving people in this earth. Not only were they there for us when we lost each of our girls, but they all celebrated when we were able to bring a healthy baby home. I could not believe what I saw when I pulled into our driveway. An out pouring of love with hearts all over the front of the house, chalk drawings all over the driveway, and sweet gifts left on our table. As soon as I saw it my heart burst at the seams. The hardest part of moving is that we're leaving this amazing neighborhood family behind. I don't know if there's a more kinder people, and the people in Visalia have big shoes to fill. I hope this bond we have will never break. Here's to hard change that only means more adventures ahead!

He loves holding his baby brother

He's officially ours!

One of the surprised on our driveway

Summer Fun!

I used to dream of my summer adventures. Just before school got out for the summer I would think about all the exciting things I was going to do. The one thing I looked forward to the most was our family reunions. When you have a HUGE extended family, it makes life so much more exciting! I couldn't wait for those reunions to come around every two years to be around aunts, uncles, cousins, and the most awesome grandparents in the world. Our extended family keeps growing and so each time we have a reunion, things just keep getting more exciting. Especially when you have kids of your own and they are excited for those same reunions!

Our Mark Ballantyne growing family <3

Our family reunions are epic! They have to be when 60 people come and that's not even the whole extended family! We had a blast for 4 days in Bear Lake Idaho with 60+ of the awesome people we happen to be related to. So many memories made, so many messes cleaned up, so many painful sun burns, and so much food eaten! Another amazing reunion for the books!

The 4 days consisted of hours at the beach at the lake, Olympic teams, flags, and events. Riding bikes, racing, raspberry shakes, lip syncing battles, talent show, cave exploring and late night visiting. The only time I saw my little boy was at bedtime which seemed to commence at 11pm every night.He absolutely loved having kids to play with all the time! Families are the best!

Just before exploring the cave. It was a nice break from the heat. 

Our little family inside the cave. 

Shortly after our adventures at Bear Lake, we had one last harrah with Jason before he made the journey to California. I was supposed to be running my second out of five half marathons, but the race was canceled and so we got more time with our friends in Logan. We love visiting the Sanchez family. They are our friends for life! We love them!

The kiddos taking a break from walking <3

After our adventures there, we had a sad goodbye to daddy for the next two weeks while he starts his adventure in California. I can't believe it! Him leaving made things so much more real and so much more lonely. We sure do love this silly man.

Of course Carter and I are never bored. Carter started swim lessons, I've started training for another half marathon, and we've been getting things done on our to do list before we can hit the bucket list items. Now the adventure begins of getting our house ready to sale. I think that this will be the most hard adventure with our move to come. We love our house, and it is so hard to say goodbye. On the other hand, we know there is something for us in California and only millions more memories to create!

Carter started swim lessons. This is the best pic I could get....

By our new home in California

1 Year Ago

I think this is the 27th post I've started since I last wrote about our adventures. Life has a funny way of getting in the way. This is an especially hard time of year for our little family. It's only been a year since we went through so much. It seems as if it's already been a lifetime. It breaks my heart to know I have far more years to yet endure. 

We celebrated their birthday with a pic nic by their grave 

There they go! Happy birthday sweet angels!

My heart has been raw and broken from the events that unfolded one year ago. It is always so hard to reach an anniversary of losing a child. One year ago...I lost 4. One year ago, we drove home from a very hard long week in the hospital. One year ago, my heart was shattered into more pieces than I ever thought possible. As we drove home in an empty van, I tried to look forward with a brave face but could only think of all our loved ones and friends that I let down. I was so excited to share my 4 rainbow babies with the incredibly loving people in my life, only to come home with empty arms.

Our Ellie girl. She loved to put her fingers in her mouth. Or sweet tiny baby already had such a fun personality. I can't wait to have the opportunity to raise and get to know this sweet girl of mine!

Baby B, our lovely Savannah. She was the smallest of them all. This fiesty little girl didn't want to give up. We were blessed to help take care of her with the nurses on the last day she lived. 

Baby A, kylie. She was the first one to come and the first one to be called home. I will always remember the night I got to hold her and watch her numbers go up. We saw miracles that night, but heavenly father needed her home more than we needed her here. 

Oh Lexi girl! She fought until the very end too. I think she would have been a huge strength to her sisters. She is our baby D. Last one out and last one to say goodbye. Our beautiful Lexi wanted to stay with us as long as she could. I cannot wait to hold and love on her again. 

As we drove down our street my eyes were again clouded by tears as I saw pink ribbons lining our street. As we pulled into our driveway and opened the garage door, hundreds of hearts were plastered all over the walls and hanging from the rafters above. In those moments the pain didn't go away but I felt so much love from our neighbors and friends. I hope they know the strength they gave me to keep going. To not give up.

I still feel as if we let all these people down. I hope one day they will be able to celebrate with us as we bring a baby home some day. 

So many hearts. So many messages of hope. 

Those messages are still there. 

Thank you for your love!

This week has been super hard for me. While I didn't want to remember the events, I also was so afraid they'd be forgotten. My 4 sweet angels made a big impact on so many people, yet soon after they passed away, my world completely stopped while the rest of the world kept going.
In all of our hard times, we have been blessed so much! I guess the lord has more in store for us. Jason was offered a promotion with his job, but it no longer allows us to stay here in Utah. We will be moving to California in a short while and with how fast the days and weeks are going, our time here will end quickly. There is so much of us here, this will probably be the most difficult move we've ever made. In 8 years of being married, this will be our 10th move. We've met so many wonderful people with each move, but with all we've been through here.. I feel as though we're leaving family.