5 months old

I actually wrote this blog post on September 17, but finally got around to publishing it. Oops. Happy Reading!


Today is September 17th. The day my sweet little girl would have been 5 months old.

I haven't been on here for a long time. Every time I start to write, I see pictures of my sweet baby and hear here sweet little sounds. My heart seems to break every day I have to live with out her. My sweet little Carter talks about her like she's still here with us. When he realizes she really isn't here he tells me he misses her so much. We planted a tree in our backyard in memory of Shanna. When we had a storm the other night, Carter was so concerned about his little sisters tree. Sometimes I feel as if he still has a connection to her that I wish I had. Sometimes I get a warm little feeling when he says she can still see us. Our sweet little guardian angel watching over us. She's better with out her broken body, but it still hurts so bad not to have her here with us physically.

I've been trying so hard to see the blessings in all this. I must say I am so very thankful for the things I do have. I have a wonderful hard working husband who loves me and I know it. I have the healthiest and sweetest little boy who makes me smile everyday. I have a wonderful loving family who has done so much for us. We have amazing friends and neighbors who have been standing with us through all of this and holding us up. I have a special connection with other mothers who know what I'm going through and are going through the same things. We have the Gospel to give us the peace we yearn for everyday. I have been given so many things and have so many things to be thankful for.

To help ease the pain we've been feeling, we've started many adventures. Here are some things we've been up to the last little big since our last post.

Carter is a social tiger. He loves spending time with his friends. We got to visit Thanksgiving Point and play with his friend Illa. 

Finally got him to ride a pony with out screaming or crying. He was so excited!

Our new Sunday activity has been walking down to a pond and feeding the ducks. There are 3 geese that come over every time and decide to bully all the little ducks. 

The before picture of our kitchen... we're still working on the after lol.

The before of our living room. Don't have an after, but it's done and it's beautiful.

We've started many house projects. We just tore out all our old floor and installed a new one.

Taking all the tile and backer board out (down to the sub floor) was a 2 day project. Jason was pretty sore afterwards. 

The demolition crew!

We had a book drive at the Potter run in West Jordan. It did awesome!

Our little monkey... still obsessed with all things involving wheels.

We've been playing at the park almost everyday. Carter has gotten quite good at doing everything and being silly. 

We took Carter to drive a police car... or rather to sit in one. 

Planes, Trains, and Automobiles was a hit with this silly guy. He loved the helicopters!

Carter loves to read. He reads to himself almost everyday. 

I love this little kiddo. 

Camping in the rain... it was quite the adventure. We still had lots of fun and Carter loved being with his daddy. 

Our baby girl's grave has a temporary headstone that some wonderful friends of mine made. 

Carter's friend is only 8 days older! We loved having our friends come for a visit!

We went hiking in St. George. Poor little Carter only had flip flops to hike in.

All of us together. Cute little baby Elias fell asleep though all the bumpy ups and downs.

We visited the St. George Temple. It was beautiful!

In the St. George Temple Visitor's Center. I must say, we are a good looking bunch. 

Carter and his other friend. They were so cute walking around together.