Jason & Clarissa: You Should Have Seen the Other Guy

A week ago, I walked into the hospital knowing that my life had changed forever and I would be starting a long journey back to feeling normal again (whatever that means). Considering the circumstances, I felt so calm. I knew deep down that God was in everything that was happening to me, even leading up to the moment when my life would be entirely in the hands of my doctors. Even when I had to let go of Jason's hand, squeezing so tightly to know he was still with me, I felt completely calm. I had felt of all the prayers said in my behalf and felt angels round about me. What an incredible thing to know that everything would be completely fine. Now I say completely fine ,but not completely easy.

Waking up from having surgery is such an interesting sensastion. The last thing I remember is thinking how cold the operating room was, and that this was it. The beginning to my whirlwind of being diagnosed with tumors in my brain. Suddenly I was in a different room violently throwing up and saying hi to Jason and my parents. I felt so embarrassed until I felt the stab of my giant headache and remembered what I had just been through. Everyone's response was all but loving as they explained to me I had just been in a bar fight, and should have seen the other guy. I wished I could have seen him to help me feel a little better.

I was told the surgery went very well and that they got a nice chunk of the tumor for a biopsy. Lucky for me, they wouldn't have to go in a second time. I must say, I wouldn't wish for brain surgery on my most favorite enemy. I was in the ICU for 2 days, constantly being pumped with drugs, IV fluids, taken to get CT scans, and monitored very closely. Rest wasn't something I really had not had until they moved me to the Nero floor. I didn't even feel human after that, as they poked and used me as a human pin cushion. Finally when I knew I was probably much worse than the other guy, they said I could go home! What a wonderful gift too, as it was our 4 year anniversary and my sweetheart would not have to endure as much pain with me.

The most amazing person I could have EVER decided to spend my forever with!

I have been doing so well since being out of the hospital! It has been such a joy to see my sweet little Carter again and love on him. He hardly knew I was gone, because he has had so much fun with grandma! Having a mother is such a wonderful blessing. They know just how to take care of you even when you're grown.

I have been so touched by all of the wonderful friends and family that have reached out to us so much. I have been brought to tears to see the selflessness that has been shown to us. We want you to know that everything has been so appreciated. I know God is in all things, even when they seem so devastating. It helps us learn that God is good and that he never leaves our side. If he for some reason seems to get distracted, he sends his angels in his place.

As I said earlier, this has been hard, but it's only the beginning. We will be heading home in a few days to give us sometime before we head back to the Salt Lake valley for more support and help that we've received from wonderful doctors. We will be returning for radiation treatments to fight the tumors and continue to grow spiritually strong. I know that we are not the only ones going through hard times, and I want to repeat words from a friend that brought me great strength in the hospital. God is good, and God is in it. Everything happens to help us reach our greatest potential. Happy reading!