Jason & Clarissa: Hard Things

9 months!

Well… this is only the 84^th post I’ve started writing since the beginning of January. Here we are staring March in the face and I still haven’t finished any of my thoughts. At first, I started this blog to keep my family updated on all the things Osborn, but now I have found that it is often a place I turn to write out my thoughts. Not that all my thoughts are published, but it’s interesting to look back and see my perspective on the things I have gone through and how all the things that have happened, have changed me. I am stronger because of all the hard things, I have more compassion, more understanding, and I have learned, I can do hard things.

Callie got to see Great- Grandma

January was a great start to the year 2020. Jason started a new job with a new company, Carter started his basketball season with coach daddy, and Daxton became an expert at walking. Callie, our little princess, tried her first foods, and found that she rather likes eating the real stuff. We are in love with our squishy baby. We all set goals and committed to become better in every way, and planned trips and adventures we wanted to have together. The month started with an extra long break from school for Carter, walking for the first time in shoes for Daxton, and sitting up in a stroller for little Callie. Jason loved learning new things about his new job, and I became a season ticket holder for Broadway, and addicted to The Bachelor. February sped quickly passed us with a trip to Washington and learning how to crawl for the girls, and a trip to San Francisco for the boys. We have become huge fans of how much there is to do and see with in hours of where we live.

My squishy little girl

My world

Yesterday marked February 29^th. A date that only comes around every 4 years. Not only that, but it also ended heart month. A month of awareness for heart disease, heart defects, and heart heroes who continue to live with these medical issues. I had a daughter once, who would have had to endure so much in her life because of her broken heart. Her name was Shanna Kay Osborn, and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. That’s why I ran a half marathon in her memory in Long Beach on leap day. It was hard, but I did it, and I did it for her!

I loved her snuggles

I think about her everyday<3

It’s funny how our enthusiasm for being better and doing great things can fizzle out pretty quickly within the first few weeks of a new year. I have often felt that way, but this year, I really wanted it to be different. When I thought about all of the hard things my sweet little baby girls has to go through in this life, I thought about something hard I could do for them. In the moment, what is harder than running? Ha ha. I love the feeling afterward, but running for me, is a hard thing.

My T- shirt

I finished!!!

Minutes before the race began, I looked at my play list to make sure I had all the songs I needed, even the one that always makes me think of my Shanna girl. A Better Place by Rachel Platten is a song that I never thought would be as close to heart as it is. My little sister is the culprit to blame. She made a beautiful slide show of pictures of our sweet girl when she was alive. We watched it at her viewing before the funeral services, and I noticed that all the pictures were shown to this song. My sister later told me, that every time she heard that song, she thought of Shanna. Well now when I hear that song, that’s all I think of. My Shanna Girl.

Strangely, that wasn’t the song going through my head at the beginning of the race, but rather the words… “My life is a gift. My life has a plan. My life has a purpose, in Heaven it began.” It made me think of my Shanna girl too. She had a life that was a gift from God. Her life was very short, but it had a plan. Even though her life was short, I know that it did have a purpose. I learned so much from that little girl of mine. I learned that miracles do happen, prayers are answered, we can all do hard things, and that we have a Savior named Jesus Christ who is always there for us no matter how hard things may get. Our Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. As we trust in him, we will see miracles and receive blessings beyond measure. We may have some bumps along the way, but He will always be there.

Oh my heart<3

Major blessing right here<3

Through the years, I have had hard things happen to me, but I have also had incredible miracles, and blessings beyond measure. Now my life consists of chasing after 2 of the sweetest babies you will ever meet, and wishing my 6-year-old was at home to help retrieve diapers, sippy cups, and bottles, and entertain his little brother. There are days when I try to imagine having all of my children with me. All 8 little cuties racing around the house and having 7 of them under the age of 4. My life is crazy enough as it is, but I do miss my heavenly children every day we are apart. This year I made a goal to run 5 half marathons in memory of my 5 angel girls. It was incredible to start the first one on leap day, and I cannot wait for the next 4! The count down to the 2^nd is on, as I run the Lincoln City Half Marathon on April 4^th! Until then, enjoy your month, and maybe you’ll hear from me again. Happy reading!