Hard Things

9 months!

Well… this is only the 84^th post I’ve started writing since the beginning of January. Here we are staring March in the face and I still haven’t finished any of my thoughts. At first, I started this blog to keep my family updated on all the things Osborn, but now I have found that it is often a place I turn to write out my thoughts. Not that all my thoughts are published, but it’s interesting to look back and see my perspective on the things I have gone through and how all the things that have happened, have changed me. I am stronger because of all the hard things, I have more compassion, more understanding, and I have learned, I can do hard things.  

Callie got to see Great- Grandma

January was a great start to the year 2020. Jason started a new job with a new company, Carter started his basketball season with coach daddy, and Daxton became an expert at walking. Callie, our little princess, tried her first foods, and found that she rather likes eating the real stuff. We are in love with our squishy baby. We all set goals and committed to become better in every way, and planned trips and adventures we wanted to have together. The month started with an extra long break from school for Carter, walking for the first time in shoes for Daxton, and sitting up in a stroller for little Callie. Jason loved learning new things about his new job, and I became a season ticket holder for Broadway, and addicted to The Bachelor. February sped quickly passed us with a trip to Washington and learning how to crawl for the girls, and a trip to San Francisco for the boys. We have become huge fans of how much there is to do and see with in hours of where we live.

My squishy little girl

My world

Yesterday marked February 29^th. A date that only comes around every 4 years. Not only that, but it also ended heart month. A month of awareness for heart disease, heart defects, and heart heroes who continue to live with these medical issues. I had a daughter once, who would have had to endure so much in her life because of her broken heart. Her name was Shanna Kay Osborn, and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. That’s why I ran a half marathon in her memory in Long Beach on leap day. It was hard, but I did it, and I did it for her!

I loved her snuggles

I think about her everyday<3

It’s funny how our enthusiasm for being better and doing great things can fizzle out pretty quickly within the first few weeks of a new year. I have often felt that way, but this year, I really wanted it to be different. When I thought about all of the hard things my sweet little baby girls has to go through in this life, I thought about something hard I could do for them. In the moment, what is harder than running? Ha ha. I love the feeling afterward, but running for me, is a hard thing.

My T- shirt

I finished!!!

Minutes before the race began, I looked at my play list to make sure I had all the songs I needed, even the one that always makes me think of my Shanna girl. A Better Place by Rachel Platten is a song that I never thought would be as close to heart as it is. My little sister is the culprit to blame. She made a beautiful slide show of pictures of our sweet girl when she was alive. We watched it at her viewing before the funeral services, and I noticed that all the pictures were shown to this song. My sister later told me, that every time she heard that song, she thought of Shanna. Well now when I hear that song, that’s all I think of. My Shanna Girl.

<3

Strangely, that wasn’t the song going through my head at the beginning of the race, but rather the words… “My life is a gift. My life has a plan. My life has a purpose, in Heaven it began.” It made me think of my Shanna girl too. She had a life that was a gift from God. Her life was very short, but it had a plan. Even though her life was short, I know that it did have a purpose. I learned so much from that little girl of mine. I learned that miracles do happen, prayers are answered, we can all do hard things, and that we have a Savior named Jesus Christ who is always there for us no matter how hard things may get. Our Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us. As we trust in him, we will see miracles and receive blessings beyond measure. We may have some bumps along the way, but He will always be there.

Oh my heart<3

Major blessing right here<3

Through the years, I have had hard things happen to me, but I have also had incredible miracles, and blessings beyond measure. Now my life consists of chasing after 2 of the sweetest babies you will ever meet, and wishing my 6-year-old was at home to help retrieve diapers, sippy cups, and bottles, and entertain his little brother. There are days when I try to imagine having all of my children with me. All 8 little cuties racing around the house and having 7 of them under the age of 4. My life is crazy enough as it is, but I do miss my heavenly children every day we are apart. This year I made a goal to run 5 half marathons in memory of my 5 angel girls. It was incredible to start the first one on leap day, and I cannot wait for the next 4! The count down to the 2^nd is on, as I run the Lincoln City Half Marathon on April 4^th! Until then, enjoy your month, and maybe you’ll hear from me again. Happy reading!

My crazy babies

More fun in Washington

He loves his little sister

Cutest pic EVER!!!

Brothers

Sacramento fun

Little cutie

He can walk!

Sacramento temple 

I can't even...

it's cold in San Francisco!

The boys 

December Magic

Oh my heart❤

Have you ever had moments that you just wished with your whole heart, could last forever? That's what December was full of. So many tender mercies, and so many snuggly nights with my sweet children. Those are the times I often think of our girls too. There would be 5 more times the crying, the sleepless nights, the days when all I have energy to do is help them survive and get through the day, but then there would be 5 more times the kisses, the giggles, the middle of the night snuggles that make my heart ache because they're growing up so fast. 5 more times the crazy outings, Walmart pick up trips, and finding good baby sitters. I am so thankful that I have 3 of God's precious children to have these moments with now. When Callie is a teenager, I'm sure I'll long for the nights I held her in my arms while she slept. When Daxton can talk back, I'll long for those days when he screamed baby babble until I finally figured out he just wanted me to hold him. I already long for days of playing games with Carter and making him bust out giggling with the most gut busting sound. Time is a thief, and that's why we need to make the most of every moment! Here are some of our moments in December.

Christmas PJs!

Callie

7 months of pure cuteness

This little girl of ours has mastered the talent of getting around without crawling. She's hit teething hard, and she just turned 8 months! She touched snow for the first time, and wasn't really sure about it. Every day I marvel at how much she changes. We love our little princess with all of ours hearts. It's true what they say, "sugar and spice and everything nice, that's what little girls are made of."

Her little face melts my heart

Daxton

Our crazy little peanut!

This little miracle has a huge chunk of our hearts! He just experienced his second Christmas, and unlike last year, he was able to help with all the unwrapping.

Unwrapping gifts

He loves being outside, hates wearing socks or shoes, and doesn't know that he can totally walk. If he's distracted, he'll walk for miles. Even though he is insanely crazy and mischievous, he fits into our little family perfectly. Our lives would be very empty with out him.

Now he climbs on everything!

Carter

Our sweet boy❤

The little boy who gave us the desire to have more children, continues to grow and get older everyday. Although it makes me very sad at times, I am so thankful for the sweet boy he is. He has been a huge help and protective brother. He loves making everyone feel included and even had the idea to help a new kid at school make friends by inviting him over. Although the cookies were my idea, it was incredible to see that he cares for others. He loved helping with the 12 days of Christmas and thought it was awesome every time he ran away fast, so it didn't get caught. Even though he may make me crazy at times, I thank my heavenly father everyday for this sweet boy of mine.

Cookie fun

Jason

Happy 35th birthday!

Our cute Christmas eve dinner

This sexy man turned the big 35 new year's eve! He constantly amazes with how much he loves and cares for our children. Who else has a husband that is willing to get up with a baby girl who hasn't figured out the concept of sleeping through the night yet? He makes me want to be better, and I love that about him! December marked an exciting and sad time of moving on with a new company. We loved the time we had with Nestle, but Wonderful seems like it will be a great adventure as well. We're most excited about being able to stay here in the central valley. Here's to a few more years of being Californians!

Me

Group Santa picture🤪

Every year that same things happen. I look at December as a crazy time with gift giving, thinking of others, and trying to cram in memorable things for my kiddos. Every year I think, "Next year will be different. I'll be on top of everything and we can just focus on the simplicity of the reason for the season." Then December hits like a tsunami. There were many things I wanted to do that didn't happen, due to sickness, bad planning, and lack of energy. The one thing I did love, however, was that I got to spend everyday with my sweet kiddos. A friend visited from Utah and we had an adventure in LA, kids were sick but we stayed home and sang songs about our savior. I was reminded by my 6 year old everyday, that Christmas was a time to celebrate Jesus. I feel like not everything went right all the time, but we were given magical, tiny, tender mercy moments that helped us get through each and every day.

What do you do in California in the winter? Endless walks and lots of park time with my little cuties. 

I hope 2019 was a wonderful year to all of you. I hope that when you look back on it, you remember how much you are loved and blessed. I'm excited for a new year of new adventures, new things to learn, and magical moments that make this life worth it. Thanks for reading, HAPPY 2020!

She's growing up too fast!

My boys at the beach in December!

Carter loved seeing his friends from Utah

He loves his baby sister. 

These little people, have my whole heart!

6 Months, Lose Teeth, Catalina Island, and All Our Adventures in Between

What do 6 months, loose teeth, Catalina island, and long road trips have in common? They all happened in November! Another month down, and another one that did not disappoint. November was filled with all kinds of memories, adventures, and the love of family and friends. It couldn't have been any better, except for some bumps in the road.

6 months
I wish time could stand still. At the beginning of November, our sweet Callie turned 6 months! New adventures started for her with trying oatmeal, bananas, apples, and loving every last bite! She's become amazing at rolling over and enjoying tummy time. We constantly ooo and aww over her beautiful thick eyelashes, her contagious smiles, and her sweet little baby babble. Who knew babies could make you so happy?!

My Sweet little girl

I love that little tounge

She's growing up too fast!

Crazy Hair
If you know our sweet little family, it is all easy to recall our crazy haired Dax. He's the absolute cutest, most tiny, 15 month old you will meet! Callie is catching up to him quick, but that doesn't stop this curious little boy from getting into everything. He keeps me on my toes, but it's all worth it for those contagious smiles, gut busting laughs, and the sweet kisses he blows to you. We have been thankful everyday for this crazy kiddo to be part of our family forever!

They are pretty much the same size!

The many faces of Daxton

Happy Kid for the 7 hour drive home from Reno

Loose Teeth
We thought Carter would be singing, all I want for Christmas is my 2 front teeth, but instead his adult teeth insisted on making him look older. We love our goofy smiling kid! He's been loving school, excelling at being a great big brother, and a huge help! He's so protective of his little brother and sister. While at great grandma's house, he was so happy to be with kids his own age! We didn't see him all week except for bedtime. He may be a little addicted to video games, and his ipod, but we won't trade him for the world!

That Smile :)

Catalina Island
Well, I had a bucket list item... and I checked it off! I heard about an incredible half marathon race located on an island. Pictures of Hawaii flashed through my head, and I immediately signed up. After getting a place to stay over night in LA, booking ferry tickets, and creating a killer play list, I trained as hard as I had time for... until the big day came. The city of Avalon California is so neat, and my heart raced as I heard the chatter around me. "The first 5 miles are a steep up hill climb." I didn't do any hill training during my preparation, but held my head high as I reached mile 9, where the course finally went down hill. 9 miles steep uphill, and 4 miles down... I'm not sure I could ever do it again. Right as I crossed the finish line, I watched my ferry float away. I had to change my ticket and wait for the next one to come. It was rough, but at least I can say...I ran the Catalina Island Half!!!

A selfie at the finish line

We met at the LA LDS Temple visitor center after my race

Hanging out in our little camper

Hanging out at the beach

Long Road Trips
I honestly thought being away from family would be an adventure. I thought it would be great to be more independent and really experience having friends become part of our family. Well, while it has been wonderful, we have missed everyone so very much! It is hard to think all of the family get togethers in Utah for cousin events and just because. I especially haven't enjoyed being away from my grandparents. Carter used to see them more than his grandma and grandpa. Well, we took advantage of time off and Thanksgiving week! After a quick Nestle shin dig, and some other things we had to take care of, we were on the road. We stopped in Reno, NV on the way to break the trip up a little bit, but secretly I was in a hurry to have Grandma and Grandpa all to ourselves until the title way of family hit their house. We enjoyed an afternoon, evening, and morning with them and Carter even got to feed the cows. I loved seeing him do things that I used to do there while growing up. We had a blast!

Feeding the cows with Great Grandpa

Standing by great grandpa's truck

Family started arriving Tuesday afternoon, and we suddenly found every room in the house full. 5 families inside, my mom, dad, and some newly weds outside in campers, you could say that we were quite the sight. Especially with more family that headed our way on Thanksgiving day. I can't believe I didn't take a picture, but there were at least 50 people for Linner (lunch/dinner) that afternoon! We didn't get a picture, but there were 8 great grandchildren present. What I sight that would be, to see my grandparents with all their great grands. What a great treasure!

The newest cousins

Before our little 2 day jaunt to Nyssa Oregon, I decided to bring back a favorite tradition. I made little crafting kits for all the Ballantyne ladies, and after stuffing our faces, we spent time together on a fun wood and vinyl craft.A couple of husband got out of cleaning up, and helped with all the sanding. Not everyone was able to finish that night, but they all turned out so neat and unique in their own little ways. Another epic fail on getting a picture of all the finished ones.

Ballantyne ladies craft

I come from a family who loves adventure, so we all piled in jeeps and trucks Friday morning, for some off roading fun. My dad loves something called over landing. It is much like off roading, but more intense with insane vehichles and crazy trails and obstacles. We even took little Callie and Dax on a small trial. It was pretty awesome, and if you want to check out some more... look up, "Show Me Adventuring" on youtube. My dad has videos of all their adventuring. I love that my parents still play hard!

After our over landing adventure

Our last day began with an incredible morning in the Meridian temple (where we were sealed to Dax last year) and it ended with many sad goodbyes. The next time we will probably see everyone, will be the Epic Ballantyne reunion of 2020. Don't make the mistake I did... take a zillion pictures everyday, because some of the moments you wanted to remember, will be captured for you to look at later in life. Here's to another goal to set from now until forever, take more pictures!

Happy little girl on the road trip home.

Well, now that we have been home for a while, (are you really surprised it took me this long to finish a post?) our new crazy is settling in again. It's back to crazy days with crazy naps, and the adventure of Daxton getting into something new. I sure love our little family, and although I miss my extending family, I couldn't live with out these three crazies and my incredible best friend. December will bring more memories, more fun, and hopefully more pictures! Happy reading!

P.S. I had to share these! The second day we were home from our vacation, we had a crazy whirlwind of getting our family pictures taken .I could not be more in love. Looking at these pictures, I can't help but feel how incredibly blessed I have been. We all go through hard things in this life, but when we pull through it, remain faithful, and do our best, blessing will be poured upon us! Our little family is proof of that. We've been through some hard times, but they don't even come close to how much we have been given and blessed.

All of my children. It's hard to believe those 5 little snow flakes would be part of our family too. We miss our little girls so much, but we always remember that they are with us and we will see them again some day!

P.S.S. I almost forgot to share Jason's awesome news! He will be starting a new job on December 30th. We will be saying goodbye to ice cream, and hello to something more healthy. Jason will be the Senior HR Manager for Wonderful. He is excited for the adventure of working for a company that grows, and packages Halo Oranges, nut, and Fiji Water. We'll miss our ice cream, but couldn't be more excited for our Jason. He has worked so hard, done incredible things, and deserves this promotion more that he knows. We love our hard working daddy!